MrGone - "Hardance Collection"
(Hardance, 3-song CDEP)
Uploaded to Aural Innovations: August 2003
Okay. Where to start? Hmmm… Well… Ummm. I got nothing. Wait… How about a witty story first and then the review thing, okay? Great.
This is what it was like for me to review this CD. Let’s see… I’ll go metaphorical on your ass.
When I was just a budding growing future DJ/electronic musician, maybe about 8-years old, I had this propensity for testicular injuries. No matter how much it hurt my fragile “wittle pee-pee-deepy-weepy”, I couldn’t stop doing it. One time I flew off my bike, smashed my dink, and just lay there in the middle of the street almost lifeless. It hurt but I rose to ride another day my friends, of course at the expense of proper adult penile function. I am not a masochist either so don’t get that idea. The injuries always made me cry but I just kinda’ kept doing it.
So, listening to MRGONE is like that. You know it’s wrong, you know it’s going to hurt you in some way, and you know that it sucks but you can’t stop. Call it luck (or lack thereof), call it pride, call it flawed judgment, call it whatever you want. Hell, you can even blame it on the George Dub-a-yah for all I care. However, in this case, I had repeated “injuries” (listens) because I thought (rather foolishly) that I was the problem and that I was missing something here. Nope.
I can see Mr. Jerry-Jerry (my boss) getting slightly irritated by my name-calling and my “witty” stories so I’ll get objective here. We wouldn’t want to alienate anyone, huh?
MRGONE should get lost. Sorry. HAHA. Had to. Sorry… Joking, joking. I’ll be here all week. But seriously though…
First off, MGGONE is nothing new. His sounds are stock synth sounds, with little attempt at altering them except with low-priced reverbs and the like. Yuck. Second, his voice is weak and reminds me of a Corey Feldman B-movie soundtrack. He is almost like the guy from the Lost Boys soundtrack. Remember the 80’s vampire movie? Yeah, the song that goes-ah hem-“Crrrryyy Lit-tle sisss-terr”. No wait, I got it; the car chase scene for the movie Action Jackson or the Stallone flick Over the Top when he training to “win the purse”. Third, he puts elements together that just shouldn’t be there e.g. uninspiring clean-ish guitar parts with the hair band-esque distortion/chorus/reverb S.O.P., lazy, “Hey, my metal band didn’t work out so I heard the kids like the techno. They have to like techno cuz’ I have a grammy waiting for me” programmed beats. I got the feeling he’s never actually listened to either techno or heavy metal. He’s kind of going by an under informed gut feeling. The lyrics are kind of whack too. He says, “something around, jump on the dog”, or something to that effect. Dreadful.
I have no clue how to fix this release. (For once) I am at a loss… maybe I’ll go hurt my dink again.
For more information you can email Mr Gone at: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.
Contact via snail mail c/o Francis Pomi; 777 NE 62nd St #C415; Miami, FL 33138.
Reviewed by The New Digital Sound