Tekniset – “Technical Problems” (Freak Dance Records 2011)

Imagine if you will, a world where all life forms bow before The GREAT RAVING ALTAR OF TECHNO. Where the eternal holy thud thud thud thud thud thud thud ascends all matter frequentially towards that pinnacle of ecstasy some call God.

In that place, the bass lines stimulate the etheric spinal fluid, aligning each energy vortex in sequential succession until the TECHNO CHAKRIC CROWN IS ADORNED. And thus, HEAVEN is contained within… from which the two-fold manifestation of substance & spirit is symbolised through the dualistic DRUM & BASS, that which resonates with a pulse value of 140 BPM, or there about, depending on how deep the devotion is.


Religiously, before this altar, E’s, wiz, and LSD, are offered in appeasement of TECHNOGRAMMATON, the TECHCO GOD, who commands that all music foreign to Techno be manipulated with the eternal holy thud, and be born-again as the Techno floor fillers of the future, for those who still chose to exist in the 1990’s.

Imagine once more, TV theme tunes TECHNOED UP… Classical music TECHNOED UP… Everything TECHNOED UP… disco, funk, classical, pop, folk, and everything in between TECHNOED UP… This is Techno heaven for the insane…

F*** this s***… IT’S TOO F***ING BANGING… It’s done well mind you.

For more information you can visit the Freak Dance Records web site at: http://www.freakdancerecords.net

Reviewed by Albert Pollard

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