I live in a downtown bungalow
It`s in a modest little row
with tulips and roses and flowers like that
Got a talking parrot and a purring cat
and my kids don`t need to ask for a thing
I just got them a record by that guy Sting -
My heart`s that big -
Ooh, how can you call me a pig?

Now why do you call me 'The Fuzz'?
Is it because of my excess hair?
Why should I care?
I don`t know why it should hurt
but it does
Why do you call me the 'The Fuzz'?

If something comes up to keep me late
I call my wife and say: 'Hon, don`t wait.'
But I know she`s waiting just for me
in her brand-new nylon negligee.
Well, I think about her all the time
With my night-stick for preventing crime
and my CD rig.
Ooh, how can you call me a pig?

Don`t call me pig
don`t call me pig
all right...